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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome numerous obstacles, which I admire. Yet, she's often taken by surprise by people. Her spouse left her, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle disappeared then, since they had been drawn to the spouse. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy in our friendship, probably understood more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she was highly competent, her exit happened unaware of what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each retired and are seeing each other more, but I am finding my position in the relationship is to listen. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. I attempt to recommend double-checking information and different perspectives.

She is organizing a holiday to a nation I know well many times and lived in previously. My intention was to offer personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She purely just desired my agreement with her choices. I have returned from 30 days in that country and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role that walks away without explanation, but I don't think she can comprehend the effect of her behaviour on my self-esteem. At this point, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we hope for. However, addressing it with a view to working things out demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. Step two is to express how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. Finally is to ask ways you together going to change the pattern between you."

Remember she too has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for a set time."

This can be successful in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore all you say, since certain individuals have a self-protecting mindset: they have a story of their life they won't let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it's all they trust. This is difficult because there's no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. But she may initially present like this and then think your perspective. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.